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    November 01

    我为你们而书写

    很久没好好写过文字。虽然我并不认可自己是位文学青年,但至少我所有的字句都是真挚的表达。只因它是我的小小日记簿。我某天会回头来观望,来审读,我把这儿看做自己的人生写照,所以我觉得自己必须认真对待。
    我一直记得曾经看过的一句话,那是在高中时翻阅的书籍,它说:人若不感伤,固然是不会以日记的形式记录自己的生活的。它说:只有脆弱的人才写日记。我当时很认同,并且满含泪水。我觉得它直触我的内心,仿佛一位亲人,环抱着我,亲拍我头时对我怜惜的声音。高中的时段,我很爱流泪,以为所有的故事都是以自己为对象,所有的背景都与自己息息相关。那是个爱做梦爱发傻的年纪。
    当然,我已经离我的高中相当遥远。所以,写日记的习惯也逐渐被隐去。不是我不再感伤不再脆弱,而是我发现,脆弱是种可怕的秉性。你脆弱了,没人怜悯你。相反,很多人躲在一旁嘲笑你。你可以回到家中哭诉,可是当你看到母亲忧虑的眼神时,你会觉得你更加难过,所以,你必须坚强。她老去了,没有能力再保护你,却还在努力为你遮风挡雨。而这,不是一个长大了的孩子应该摄取的。
    未完,待续。
     

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